Within all of us there is a powerful connection between body, mind, heart and soul. In our natural state of being we experience as in an eb and flow a whole variety of feelings. As well as an automatic connection to intuition. Usually described by people when they are watching little children. We don’t label feelings and shifts in expressions negative when we look at children. Instead we love the playfulness, the openness, all the different expressions they show! They mostly don’t think – they just do. When we grow older – this changes. In our society we tend to be taught to be strict and tone ourselves down. We learn to judge: this is okay, this is not okay. The latter has an essential side to it. We learn rules and structures – so we are able to live in a society together. Otherwise it would become chaotic and messy. Yet in our structures we tend to lose that pure connection within. Why? I see a gap and disbalance between feeding mind and feeding heart. We are raised and live in a structure (society) that is way more supportive of rational thinking – than dealing with emotions. Learning to reach goals as priority: to know facts, to compete, getting diploma’s, status, consuming, go-go-go. Yet in quiet moments lie the beauty of being able to truly connect and fully experience each step – no matter the outcome. Not (solely) focussing on a goal, but more importantly: giving space to explore. How does an experience feel like? How to handle emotions that are being present? Pausing, expressing, having alone-time, sharing. If we learn along the way to play again (playfully explore) this becomes so much fun. Less judging (mind) – more allowing (heart).
Note that in basis there is nothing wrong with logical thinking and learning. On the contrary: it is necessary to navigate life. To categorize life. To understand life and how things work. To have a sense of control. To be able to make concrete steps. To manifest. Though when the focus is mostly in this area (headspace instead of heart/ body space) it can create a disconnecting from our feelings (and for many also from their bodies!) For the mind combined with a rigid goal orientation – emotions can seem to be not functional and inefficient. And we learn in our super-efficient society to get as quickly from A to B by logics. By that we can lose contact with the most beautiful and most powerful sources of wisdom that resides in all of us: the knowledge and messages of our bodies, our feelings, our inner knowing, our intuitive system. The true connection we crave for. Even if we are not aware of it. This connection is fundamental for every human being I believe. It is our natural state of being.
I would like to ask you: which one is driving your bus? Is your mind of service to your heart? Or is the mind speaking (and usually judging) too much, and by doing so: giving very little space to your heart’s and body’s voice?
When this feels off balance and you wish to connect more with the feelings inside – it is necessary to silence the mind so you can hear more of the voice within. Which is easier said than done. Opening up to emotions that are (buried) underneath all the thinking, rational mind, the control.. It can feel complex, scary, and many times out of reach. What do I want? Why? What feelings lie underneath all my thoughts? Or: I simply cannot ‘reach’ what I feel (often heard in our society). Sometimes we have been (emotionally) closed off for such a long time. When this is the case we need a lot of time and space to peel off layers that have been built. In this process it is very advisable to have (professional) guidance and support.
We had not been closed off for no reason.. The challenge lies in embracing all of the emotions that come to surface. All want to be seen, heard and felt. Yet this is where it mostly becomes uncomfortable and it is because of this discomfort that we tend:
to turn around, and run away
to distract ourselves
to push ourselves even harder
to point the finger externally
(… feel free to fill in)
For many it is difficult to sit with sadness, frustration, anger.. Daring to look at it, connect with it. To breathe into it, and give space to that. Creating more softness around those parts. Being gentle and compassionate with yourself. Touching upon vulnerable parts within you. Parts that you rather shield. Not only to someone else, but sometimes also to yourself.
That shielding is so fatiguing. So many people are tired. Numbers are increasing of people feeling depressed. As Jim Carrey describes: depressed means deep-rest. Our body signals we need rest. We are tired of the disbalance. In a way you can see the disbalance coming from (emotional) survival. Many have enough materialistic stability – yet there is so much struggle. Emotional struggle that lies often under the surface (nicely hidden). Mainly due to that our society is not very welcoming uncomfortable feelings. And that’s why in many situations we simply do not know how to navigate through ‘difficult’ emotions. Closing them off seems to be the most safe and controlled way. In trying not to get or feel hurt. Thinking we need to stay strong and this (falsely) represents being strong and in control. Feelings tend to be seen as weak “thing” and/ or we don’t want to bother someone else with our problems.. It makes a growing amount of people feel lonely. Research shows that loneliness has become a big problem in our society. We are in lack of connection.
It starts with yourself. It is always firstly an inside job. To dive inside. To connect with the voice of your heart. (Re)connect with your body. To (re)connect with your feelings, and your intuitive guidance system. Being open, soft and gentle in the process – slowly starting to welcome what comes to surface.
There is of course a whole spectrum and variety – and I don’t want to direct anyone. People can obviously live their lives fairly happy without feeling the need to dive deep in oneself. Live and let live. There are no guidelines nor strict rules to this. I only want to be an advocate for the light and love it brings when there is a deeply felt connectedness. In cheerful times: yes! and in darker times when we need a loving connection even more. You feel the immense energy when people act, do, speak, live from their heart! It just hits ‘home’. Wow. Everybody can feel this. Words, music, art, a touch, a smile… it will reach your heart fully when it comes from heart. And it is so amazingly beautiful and powerful when we are capable to connect, express and share. It lightens up the world. Besides that: it also makes life ‘lighter’ (softer, more kind) when we feel connected. And yes: we do need the mind to facilitate and manifest the expression of the heart. The mind is necessary, useful, and essential. But it shouldn’t be driving the bus. Put your heart in the drivers seat!
Some questions for this kind of exploring: what do you truly desire? What is holding you back – inside of you? Where or when are you hiding? What are the parts of yourself you rather push away? Can you connect with your feelings, with your body? Are you comfortable with yourself? Do you feel free (safe) to share and express?
So much more to share. More will come from my hand (heart 😉 about this kind of exploring as it is the most essential learning journey in my life. Because I have been there: hugely avoiding, distracting, judging, and pushing myself. Daring to sit with myself in stillness felt to be absolutely impossible. It has not been an easy journey to open up and show vulnerability. To embrace all that is me and daring to show myself. To let myself be seen, heard and felt. I consider it to be an ongoing learning journey. Experiencing wholeheartedly: it is worth every step! The love that opens up is breathtakingly beautiful.
Also all other writings I post on Sea Heart touch upon this: diving within ourselves. Exploring the world within and around us. In that process (- if you wish -) are so many resources available! We can feel alone (disconnected), but we are not alone in this (all connected).
Do we dare to meet each other. In all and everything. By truthfully connecting with ourselves first – we can and will be able to connect with people around us. And by that: we are all guiding each other home. Home to heart. What our society and planet needs.
This is my religion.
“Do not die with the music still inside of you” (Wayne Dyer)
Let us sing together, and let every voice from within – be welcome!
So much love. Agnes Marije